Get inspired with these random quotes!
A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory. — Unknown
#funny quotation funny
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. — Unknown
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. — Earl Wilson
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down! — Unknown
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. — Unknown
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. — Unknown
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. — Unknown
I'm not arguing; I'm just explaining why I'm right. — Unknown
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. — Unknown
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes. — Jim Carrey
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands. — Steven Wright
I'm on the whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. — Tommy Cooper
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. — Steven Wright
